Haven't been blogging for sometime, I'm afraid that my English writing is worse than ever before... It's Christmas season... well... nothing really big for me, except a very confused, complicated feeling.
What has been happening in my life recently? I went to my favourite singer's - Jam Hsiao's concert last Saturday. A good friend of mine invited me for her wedding reception, but I refused because of the concert. Then mum told me I should wait at home, for uncle was in a very critical stage. Anyhow in the end I went. I really enjoyed the concert so much, for his voice has a comforting effect... I wasn't 100% in it... was thinking about uncle and other things as well.... but I treasured and savoured every minute when I was there, to get my every cent worthwhile.
My uncle passed away on Monday, before dawn. I had a mixed feeling. Somehow I feel relieved, for uncle himself, for my mum, and everyone in the family. I have peace, for I choose to believe that Jesus received him to heaven, as I whispered to him several times, telling him to believe and look for Jesus, when he was in coma.
After my uncle passed away, my granddad found out even everyone was hiding the truth from him. His old injury in his back hurts him badly and he got admitted into the hospital. Mum and her family are very busy settling and travelling and attending to different people and places.
I wanted to enjoy the Christmas, but I feel guilty, so I decided to stay home and do nothing, except on the Christmas eve, I went to church. Christmas carols always warm up my heart, I thank God earnestly for this ultimate gift of hope, that death has lost it's foothold, that one day in Jesus, we will be resurrected in glory, reunite with God eternally. The precious eternal hope, came in the form of the child in the manger... how I wished that everyone can just believe and accept it, because it's the only way that "works" and "make sense" for a bright future, overcoming sins and death.
Lonely. Deep down in my young heart wishes that myself can be at somewhere else, together with someone else, whether the place or people that I know or don't know yet. I want to explore, experience and enjoy the world, but under submission to Lord Jesus.
My 2010, I'm happy with it. I didn't expect too much since the past 2 years for me was quite rough. I thank God for His leading and guidance in my life through work, friends, colleagues, family and church. I must set a higher target for myself next year... may the Lord continue to lead.
Hope this phase will be over soon. 2011 is coming, hopefully it will be a more fruitful year for me. I just hope that everyone in the family will be ok, so that I can proceed to live out my life the max, for youth is going to be over soon... want to be as crazy as I can, to live out every possibilities... with the permission of the Lord above...
Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Ecclesiastes 11:9