Thursday, July 10, 2014

Prayer of Lament

Dear Heavenly Father, you are the Almighty God, who created the heaven and earth. You give breath to life, you created me and gave me life. I am brokenhearted, tired, and in despair. My family and I have sinned against you. The circumstances are against us, we have nothing to defend ourselves for, only to beg for your mercy.

I only thankful that at least they are healthy and safe. Brother still smokes marijuana. Dad's struggling with his work and income. I pay the bills. My beloved left me, my boss closed down the company. I lost my job.

Shame overwhelmed me, rejection hurted me, sins captured me, fears engulfed me, loneliness drowned me, tears flooded me.

Hope is frail, difficult to be seen. Strength is failing, I feel weaker day after day. I can barely live, only to lie to myself and others - all is good.

Tell me of your Truth, my Lord. My memory is failing me. I seem to be forgotten the good things you have done in my life, miracles I never dreamt to happen. Please tell me there is more to life, there is meaning, there is purpose, there is hope.

Remind me of Jesus' love - one who came down, lived and died on the cross, endured the shame, rejection and pain. Convince my heart that You love me, in the beginning, now, and till the end. Show me what love is.

I have failed to recognise your love, failed to love others. I live without purpose, I wish I am dead.

Revive my soul, O Lord, take this broken and contrite heart, take this broken soul to glorify your name.

Help me to trust you once more, to love and obey your commands, to hope in your promises. Help me to stay strong, to remain faithful to your Word, until the very end. Deliver my family from unbelief, help us to believe, open our eyes to see your Light, and grant us hearts of repentance. May we turn away from evil, but do good, to worship you, as a response to your limitless grace.

Transform this soul, make it useful for your Kingdom. Satisfy me with your love and truth, make me hungry and thirsty no more.

My name will be nobody, for I am and forever will be Christian.