Monday, July 28, 2008
I am grilled more and more day after day, I hope I would not get burnt. 2, 3, or even 4 jobs on hold and cannot do anything but wait, this is worse than anything. So what? Why wait? Why doesn’t God just give me a reply straight away? The longer I wait, the more likely I am going to lose all the possibilities and offend those who offered me jobs.
The biggest lesson God has taught me this year is WAITING, wait in patience, wait in hope, and wait for deliverance. If the situation is within my control, I wished I can just do something about it and get it done or get over it. But waiting is humbling me and reminding me that I am not in control, but God is. It takes a lot of faith and courage to believe that God is in control, He is wise and He loves me.
Yet, I am not going to have another good night sleep if the situation is not being solved. I am stuck, literally stuck that there is nothing I can do about the situation. I do not know how long it is going to take before they let me know whether I am taken or not, I do not know how long it will be before another position offered is being taken by another person. There is a big chance either I am getting both job offers, or losing both.
Again, it humbles me. God is God, and I am not. As a servant who submitted my will to my Lord, I can only wait in patience and obey whatever is coming. Perhaps, it is my duty to worship and rejoice even in the midst of restlessness and anxiety. I believe this is a God-given challenge for me to learn and overcome.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
The bible also says, in everything which had happened to Job, he did not sin by charge God with wrongdoing.
So how should I response to this passage? Or what should I learn from Job? Indeed, everything that I have in life is given to me by God's grace, they are all belong to the Lord's, and He has the right to give, and the right to take away. He has the right to bless, and He has the right to bring disaster or afflictions. Nevertheless, he deserved to be praised, worshiped and glorified, for He is the God who created all things, He is perfect and Holy, He is sovereign and supreme, He sent His son Jesus to show us His invisible being. Even only for the fact that He is my God, my Lord, my master, he deserves my worship to the full without questioning.
"Lord, I praise you for who you are, you are holy and without blemish. You have great wisdom, and your thoughts are beyond my thoughts, and your ways are higher than my ways. Who am I to question you? Who am I to complain or doubt your sovereignty? I am just a sinner, a sinner who does not have the right to defend anything because I have sinned against you. I can only plead for your mercy and grace. Have mercy on this helpless little child, who is helpless against the evil realm, against the temptations of the world, against the deceptions and lies of princes of the world. Nevertheless, you are in control above all, I put my hope in the promise of eternal life in the Kingdom which is to come. I have the reason to rejoice in the midst of sufferings and struggles, and everything seems so insignificant in compared to the hope of seeing you face to face, not through visualisation of the description of you in the bible, not through other people's words, but I will see you, with my own eyes, and declare you are God, and I will give all the glory to you, until forever and ever. From that day onwards, there is nothing could stop me from knowing you, and rejoicing in you, nothing could stop me from praising and worshiping you. I will wait for that day, in patience and perseverance, I will be a good witness, to draw more people to you. You are my greatest desire, Lord, nothing else can compare to your greatness, not money, not relationships, not glamour, not fame, not wisdom, not knowledge, not family, not anything in this world can compare to your surpassing greatness and glory. May all worship and glory be unto your holy name. Amen"
Thursday, July 24, 2008
After the dark period of life suddenly I feel there are so many changes and my life is at the turning point. Rejections after rejections of many job applications and relationship were very discouraging. However acceptance after acceptance of possibilities can be exciting but stressful as well. My job application and interview has never actually failed in my job search in
Oh before that I met up with a staff worker of FES (Fellowship of Evangelical Students) here and heard about their need of a staff worker for the uni side. Then I was considering about that position and prayed about it. However since I got 'accepted' by the airline I did not follow up until further update.
In addition, to make things more complicated, I received an email today for a 2nd interview with
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I had a special Sunday last week. Got to know an ex-OCFer and current staffworker of FES Singapore through Philip, and I followed her to Holy Trinity Anglican church. It was a good experience, learnt about apostle Paul’s focus, priority, devotion, and attitude according to Philippians, and got to know some very friendly church members and local CFers.
In the late afternoon, I went to another church introduced by Lilis, was surprised initially because I realised the service will be conducted in Indonesian language. I’d never attend an Indonesian church or service in my life, therefore I was a bit nervous. Nevertheless, I was surprised by the number of people attended the service, and the ‘presence’, I mean the worship was very powerful when all the congregation sang and give glory to God together. Although everything conducted in a rather traditional way other than the rock or modern style, I feel that is something I familiar with and can identify with the church which I used to go to when I was a child, and perhaps close to my idea of how a church suppose to be. I was even more excited when the choir sung a traditional hymn orchestra by Felix Mendelssohn, was amazed by the glory and awe which no words can describe, it actually enabled me to have a glimpse of God’s glory.
When the speaker Rev. Ps. Stephen Tong went up the stage to start to share and preach, he looks somehow familiar, I felt like I seen him somewhere before, but I could not remember. Though I was a bit struggling at understanding Indonesian language, I was impressed at myself that I actually could understand 60-70% of the whole service since I received Malay education since young. Pastor was sharing about the story Joseph’s brothers when they arrived
Today I found out I attend this preacher’s evangelical talks when I was young, and he can actually speak Mandarin and is a well-known preacher among
Don’t misunderstand I am not trying to promote or idolise this well-known preacher, nor I think he is perfect. He is a man used by God to reach out to many people, but I do respect his zeal and knowledge and willingness to serve God with his whole life. I respect people who take God’s Word seriously and live and die for the sake of the gospel. I pray that other churches will follow and be radical, no more just following traditions or set of marketing principles but question everything and find the answers from careful investigation of the Bible.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Volunteer projects or translation (Chinese to English and vice versa) projects can be considered as well.
I can talk, listen, act, walk, run, read, write, draw, type, think, sing, dance, cook, serve, carry, pray....
I can be a great friend and loyal worker.
Just give me a job! sigh.
Maybe this explained why I do not have a job yet.
Brothers and Sisters in Christ:
I need your prayers, please pray for me, as I need:
- a vision, a calling from God about what to do in near future, and what and how am I suppose to achieve it.
- a good church which I could settle, serve, fellowship, and build my support network.
- Mental and emotional strength and clarity in discerning the small voices of God and also my real passion and purpose in life.
- Being able to persist and persevere in pursuing the goal/vision.
- Sustaining provision of financial, food and daily needs.
Thank you for your precious time and may God bless you with His unfailing love.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Nigel drove Cedric and I to Melaka for a short trip on my way back to KL. We had lots and lots of food… As Cedric keep saying ‘Solid ah!’, ‘Syok oh!’, and you’ll know how good the food is, haha. After almost one hour search of the exact location of the hotel, we checked in and start our quest for good food in Melaka. We came up with a theme: Seafood, and started driving along the coast to see if there is any seafood restaurant. It was very hard to decide but we ended up in a Peranakan restaurant at the seaside. We ordered steamed white pomphret, chilli crab, spicy lala, and salted fish wtih beansprouts. It was a very nice meal with nice atmosphere (although was a bit cold and too breezy for me), yea I definitely recommend it and will go back again.
After dinner we went for a walk at Jonker Walk, had our dessert there – famous cendol with gula Melaka (palm sugar). Had a look at Cheng Hoon Theng, a famous old temple, and bought some pineapple tarts for supper. We went back to the hotel, had some pineapple tarts and learnt about wine tasting and appreciation from Cedric the wine guru. Then we watched the exciting Euro Cup Final soccer match at about 3am and I was uplifted by the victory of my favourite team –
Second day, we got up and had breakfast in the hotel, then swam in the swimming pool. After swimming of course we got hungry again! After buying my bus ticket to KL we had famous Melaka chicken rice balls for lunch and another cendol for dessert! We visited the maritime museum, and the 500 years old
Overall it was a nice and relaxing trip, thanks for Cedric and Nigel for their wonderful company and friendship, I will pray that our cholesterol level will remain healthy and possibly have another adventure sometime in the future.
Tried to upload some photos but maybe the photo size is too big so I cannot upload them.
The reason I had that passion is not only God is so great, but it grieves my heart when I see people ignorant of God. If only they know who God is, if they know how great His Holiness and Glory is, if only they experience ‘the joy of the Lord is our strength’, if they know everything in this world worth much less and will bring much less joy for them compared to what God has to offer.
They are blinded, they do not take God’s Word seriously, it is a love letter from God, it is God’s Word that is written for our sake, I cannot see why we do not handle it carefully and handle it under submission to God. People focus on the miracles and gifts that God would bring for them, they focus on how much money is God able to generate for their church, they focus on how God will make them a better person, they focus on how they will glorify God in a worldly way so they can attract more churchgoers. They talk about salvation, and God’s love, they talk about how we suppose to do in response to Christ’s crucifixion. But they could not understand that Cross is not only for us, but His work on the Cross has revealed God’s Glory and Power.
I want to learn and know how to teach the Bible as it is. I want to show people His Glory through reading His Word, I want to be like Philip, being an instrument of God explaining the Scripture to the Ethiopian Eunuch and sharing the good news.
I know the spiritual battle is real, and satan is doing everything to stop me from being functional for God’s Kingdom. But I will fight, not because without me God cannot do anything, His plans will still prosper, but if I don’t fight for God, my life will be in vain and meaningless. Let me make use of the precious gift of life which is given by Him, and may my life counts.
As Lilis has requested, I think I should update a little bit what’s going on in my life recently. I am back in KL again, feeling good after meeting my former workmate in Te Anau,
A job, well, not yet. I am still looking for one, hopefully can settle down after a long long break after graduation. My real and ultimate passion is to proclaim and witness Christ in what I do in my life. The Glory of God is so awesome that I would not compromise anything to pursue it, that’s my passion. Yet I am very weak and frail, and faith without works is dead, not going to church and not fellowshipping with other believers mean my faith is worthless. I will, find a church to commit after I decided where am I going to work and stay, I will. I want to learn more about God in the Bible, and church history, and I want to learn another language, Spanish, so preparing myself to other countries in the future.
My other passion is travelling, and experiencing another culture. My dream is one day I can travel with a purpose, to reach to the unreached. I want to learn how to tell them and engage them about Christ, and how great He is, and how privileged is for us to worship this God in spirit and in truth. In order to achieve that dream, firstly I need to settle down, build my own supporting network from a good church fellowship and from ex-OCFers from
May I worship the Lord by offering myself as a living sacrifice for Him. May my life magnifies His Glory and proclaims His name whenever I go and whatever I do. Amen.