How do I explain/demonstrate the reality of God without being sound contradictory to myself? In fact I am always contradicting my belief. I know that God is real, He has been doing wonderful things in my life, and He will do more later. But how do I defend myself when people ask me why I am doing what I am doing now? How do I tell people that greatest joy can only be found in God while I'm not appearing happy to others? How do I recommend a good product for others if I don't enjoy using it myself? My heart is pounding everytime I see or hear people chasing after worldly things in vain, I want to tell them that God loves them and it is the best thing to know God, but what's in my life to prove that God is good? I have faith that God is the best, but I have no faith in myself that I will not ruin the conversation/ the image of God which I portray to others in speech and way of life. I have deep compassion for the people around me who do not know God, I am eager to tell them, but I'm afraid that I will say the wrong thing and make things worse. It hurts me back when I feel helpless in doing nothing in sharing with them about the good news.
God, I love you, but I can't prove it/bring it to action, am I a failure? Lord, my life is a failure to most, which brings no glory to your name. How I can make myself successful (means happy and enjoying You and knowing my purpose) and show others that Christianity works?
I don't know how to live my life, I just feel that I cannot go on. Some things need to be resolved in me, but how? and who can help me to identify and overcome them?
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