Longing

Lord I feel forsaken

Even though I know you won’t

I am contradicting myself as always

And I am weary of being like this

I am losing hope in life

Once I am looking forward to so many things

But now those dreams and ambitions seem vanishing

I am putting my hope in something I could not see

Something that I do not know

Until I slowly forget what I am believing

And believe, only for the sake of believing

Am not I pathetic?

Find it impossible to quiet down my soul

To listen that tiny whisper from you

I am too anxious until I forgot what I am anxious for

I have too much fear until I forgot what I am fear of

Reality of life is harsh

It can make the courageous coward

It can make the ambitious ordinary

It can make the passionate cold

You humbled me

By taking away my last pride

Of believing in myself that I will never leave you

Now I know it is not up to me

If it is not your grace

I have forsaken you since long time ago

Take my faith as tiny as a mustard seed

Reshape me again from a cluster of clay

Make me whole, make me pure

And make my life worth living again