The Gospel Coalition

I thought the introduction of this The Gospel Coalition website is exciting.

Air Traffic Worldwide

A simulation of global air traffic over a 24 hour period. Hit the fullscreen button to get a clearer idea of the buzzing beehive the global airways have become.

My Hope – To be home forever (translated from the Chinese post)

It has been ages since I updated about myself in my blog since there is hardly any input in my recent life. On the surface I seem to enjoy my relaxing lifestyle, however I find it very difficult to calm down to reflect or pray. Without realising I have been staying at home for almost five months, my work search has been challenging and I have not heard anything about my work pass yet. Being at home for me is a mix of joy and gloom, in fact, the world has never been perfect.

Joy, is because I’m enjoying an almost a carefree life, free of worry about money or food, and immerses myself in the love of family. I guess this is the wish of most of the people in the world. Nevertheless, still there is anxiety in my heart, and there is nothing I can do to get rid of it.

After staying at home for too long, my body has become stiffened. Anxiety that comes from nowhere has deeply burdened my body and soul. On one hand I enjoy and being thankful of the love and care of God and family members, on the other hand I feel guilty and empty inside. Guilty, is because while I am whole and able, I have not contribute anything to God, family, society, or the world. Emptiness, is because life has no meaning, everyday I just watch tv, play computer games, and because it is very hard for me to concentrate, I read less than before. When life is meaningless and aimless, a person will soon become wasted.

To be honest I feel that I am a total failure, not just feeling, but real failure. When I look back, especially for the past year, witnessing at the failures in my relationships, work search, ministry, ambitions, health… I feel extremely ashamed, and I want to runaway and hide myself from the world. Mum was right; even I did not admit at the time, that I am unable to face and accept failure. I always comfort myself by saying that everything will soon become past, so don’t take things too seriously, and soon I will have the chance to prove that I am not lame or loser anymore.

Today, I realised that I have been escaping from the reality, I have no courage to face and admit my own failure. I thought that I will never be able to stand up again after the fall, I thought the world will reject me forever, I thought my sin was too heavy for God to save me.

I had been in overseas for almost four years; in between there were two whole years I did not come home. Yet after coming home, everything is still the same, dad and mum still love me the same, my brother still recognises me as his sister. Soon after that, I managed to return to my old life. And those years in New Zealand feels like a dream for me. No matter how much I suffer or experienced, even faced the possibly of death, everything has become past. No matter how long I never ring home, how much I had hid from my family in the past, when I come home and told them the truth, my parents still forgave me and love me the same.

The same applies to God as well. Yes, it is true that I have sinned against God, and I have no excuse for that, and I need to confess, and hold responsible for my sins. But because of the only Jesus, although I have sinned, I still have the chance to start again, and still have the chance to be perfect before God. Because of Jesus, God loves me as his own child, even loves me more than my parents. Although facing a lot of failures and afflictions, even the world has rejected me, still I can go back to my Father’s arms, and receive healing from His love. Above all, I can look forward to go home, the perfect home, with no more blood and tears, no evil, no suffering, no hurts, but only perfect love and God’s glorious light forever. Therefore, I took the courage to admit my own weakness and failure before God, and receive my second chance with joy. Again I will be strengthened in God’s grace, and given chance to live a life with flying colours.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. – Hebrews 12:1~3

我的盼望- 永远回家

好久好久没有跟进我的部落格了，原因是最近的生活一成不变，属灵生活也怠慢了下来，虽然表面上是悠哉闲着，事实上心里一直无法平静下来思考。不知不觉我呆在家里已经接近五个月了，工作的事一直大幅大落，到至今仍没有工作准证的消息。在家里，可谓喜忧参半，这世界毕竟是不完美的。

喜，是很享受成天无所事事，过着‘饭来张口，钱来伸手’，还有父母疼爱，弟弟的陪伴的生活。我想，这是世界上大部分人的心愿吧。遗憾的是，即使是这样，我的心，仍存有隐忧，而且迟迟无法平息。在家里呆久了，身体也渐渐变得僵硬，也不知从哪儿来的焦虑，导致我身心日渐拖垮。一方面我享受并感恩家人和上帝对我的眷顾，另一方面则觉得愧疚，而且心里十分的空虚。愧疚，是自己好手好脚的，却不能为神，家人，社会，或者世界作出一点贡献。空虚，是生活没有意义，每天看电视，玩电脑游戏，因很难专心，连书都少看了。人活得没有意义，没有目的，是会颓废的。

其实我觉得自己很失败，不是觉得，而我是真的失败。回首过去，尤其是过去的一年，看着自己的感情，工作，人际关系，主的事工，自己的理想，健康等等一一遭遇到挫折和打击，不禁感到羞愧，因而想逃避这个世界。我妈妈说得不错，当时我虽然抵死不承认，但是她倒说中了我的要害 – 无法接受失败和挫折。我总是安慰自己，这一切总会过去的，不要把不重要的事情看得太重，再等一会儿就可以证明自己不是弱者，不是失败者了。

今天我恍然大悟，明白自己一直在逃避现实，没有勇气面对失败。我以为，跌倒了，就再也站不起来了。我以为，这个世界会永远拒绝我。我以为，自己的罪孽深重，连神也救不了我了。

想想其实我离开家去国外念书有几乎四年了，其中有两一连两年没有回家。可是回到家里，一切就好像在出国之前一样，父母仍然爱我，弟弟还是老样子，也不会因此要从新认识我。很快的，我就回到原来的样子生活，那三年多，好像梦一场，似有似无。不管在国外有多么难熬，经历了多少喜怒哀乐，甚至面对过生死关头，但那一切都已经过去了。不管自己有多久没打电话回家，隐瞒家人过多少事，回到家，还不都是一样，随便骂骂过后，爸妈还是一样爱我。

其实神也何尝不一样，是的，我犯了错，我的罪无可抵赖，我必须承认，并且对神负责。可是因着独一无二的耶稣，即使错了，我也有机会再重新来过，也有机会在神面前洁白无瑕。因着耶稣，神爱我，就像他爱他自己的孩子一样，比我爸妈更爱我。就算遭遇挫折，面对世人的唾弃，我仍然可以名正言顺的回到阿爸父神的怀抱，让他的爱来抚平我的伤痛。在加上，我还有个家可以回，而且是完美的家，永远不再流血流泪，不会再有邪恶，不会再有伤痛，只有爱和主荣美的光芒。

我勇敢的认了自己的软弱和失败，欢欢喜喜的接受自己重新开始的机会，再次在主里刚强起来，下定要活出生命的色彩。

我们既有这许多的见证人，如同云彩围着我们，就当放下各样的重担，脱去容易缠累我们的罪，存心忍耐，奔那摆在我们前头的路程。仰望为我们信心创始成终的耶稣，他因那摆在前面的喜乐，就轻看羞辱，忍受了十字架的苦难，便坐在神宝座的右边。- 希伯来书十二章一至二节

Something to share

I am currently reading a brilliant book called The Reason for God by Timothy Keller. I thought this quote from the book is very good so decided to share it here, when he talks about real love is constrained as the argument against Christianity is a Straitjacket.

Human beings are most free and alive in relationships of love. We only become ourselves in love, and yet healthy love relationships involve mutual, unselfish service, a mutual loss of independence. C.S. Lewis put it eloquently:

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping if intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative is to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

Freedom, then is not the absence of limitations and constraints but it is finding the right ones, those that fit our nature and liberate us.

My Country

For the first time in my life I feel oppressed in my country just because of my skin colour. It is a lot harder than I expected to accept and love my enemies. I could not help myself but feeling hurt and threatened after hearing news about ‘Malaysians of Chinese descent are temporary residents and can never receive equal rights with other races in the country’, ‘arrest of Malaysia Today news portal editor Raja Petra, Seputeh MP Teresa Kok, and Sinchew reporter Tan Hoon Cheng under Internal Security Act (ISA)’ etc. It adds to my anger when watching the news on we are not allowed to talk about Malay rights, Islamic religion, and the Malay Rajas’ statuses because they are sensitive issues and will destroy the unity (how about they talk about racial issues and suppressing Christianity?). Also, I am being wakened up at about 5am because of the public speakers of Muslim prayers from the local mosque. I admit it is rather disturbing to force to listen to their prayers for five times a day to a god whom I do not worship.

The people no longer trust the government and are utterly disappointed with the unjust, uncivilised, non transparent way of ruling the country. Besides racial issues, it is disappointing to witness corruption, misused funds, lack of economic growth, lack of civilisation, lack of care to the environment, and narrow mindset of the people. We are hoping that either the government will change, or change the government. I was very naïve and believe that my country will be in peace forever with unity and tolerance of all races and religions. I loved my country because there is not many other places in the world share the same climate and have beautiful beaches, lush rainforests, and diverse flora and fauna. Other than that, the rich culture and the harmony regardless of skin colour and religion are precious. I do appreciate my country since a very young age and I love to see people to live in harmony. But when I grow up I realised more and more things which appears just as an illusion.

I cannot find any other better ways to resolve the conflict than love (again it is a lot more difficult to do it than just talk about it), as Jesus says love your enemies, and do not revenge, for vengeance is mine. There is no way I can love and forgive before I realised my own sins and receive grace and forgiveness from Christ. The way I relate to the world is deeply affected by my view of the gospel and relationship with God.

I pray that

• peace and harmony will continue in this country and people will be mature and open enough to talk about things and understand each other.
• Justice will be done and release of innocent people, and avoid misuse of power.
• Christians will grow mature and strong to make a stand when it’s necessary, and to be the pioneer of showing love and reconciliation.
• God will protect the Christians and use this opportunity to teach them and understand how Christ is relate to this world, the religious people (Pharisees), the oppressive government, and what are the roles of churches and individual Christians.
• Christians will grow in this situation and experience God’s grace and comfort.
• Most importantly, help us to understand why Christ has to die on the cross and live again and how it relates to this current situation, and helps us to see the glory of Christ therefore put our hope in the eternal Kingdom rather than the temporal one.

Religions and laws cannot change people’s heart, only sacrificial love that comes from Christ can ultimately change the condition of human beings.

Love Always Protects

by Max Lucado

Genesis 3:21 has been called the first gospel sermon. Preached not by preachers, but by God himself. Not with words, but with symbol and action.

"The LORD God made clothes from animal skins for the man and his wife and dressed them" (Gen. 3:21).

God covers them. He protects them.

Love always protects.

Hasn't he done the same for us? We eat our share of forbidden fruit. We say what we shouldn't say. Go where we shouldn't go. Pluck fruit from trees we shouldn't touch.

So what does God do? Exactly what he did for our parents in the garden. He sheds innocent blood. He offers the life of his Son. And from the scene of the sacrifice the Father takes a robe--not the skin of an animal--but the robe of righteousness. And does he throw it in our direction and tell us to shape up? No, he dresses us himself. He dresses us with himself. "You were all baptized into Christ, and so you were all clothed with Christ" (Gal. 3:26--27).

God has clothed us. He protects us with a cloak of love. Can you look back over your life and see instances of God's protection? I can too. My junior year in college I was fascinated by a movement of Christians several thousand miles from my campus. Some of my friends decided to spend the summer at the movement's largest church and be discipled. When I tried to do the same, every door closed. Problem after problem with finances, logistics, and travel.

A second opportunity surfaced: spending a summer in Brazil. In this case, every door I knocked on swung open. Two and one half decades later I see how God protected me. The movement has become a cult--dangerous and oppressive. Time in Brazil introduced me to grace--freeing and joyful. Did God protect me? Does God protect us?

And you? Did he keep you from a bad relationship? Protect you from the wrong job? Insulate you from _______________ (you fill in the blank)? "Like hovering birds, so will [the LORD Almighty] protect Jerusalem" (Isa. 31:5 JB). "He will strengthen and protect you" (2 Thess. 3:3 NIV). "He will command his angels ... to guard you" (Ps. 91:11 NIV). God protects you with a cloak of love.

From
A Love Worth Giving
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2004) Max Lucado

NOW IN PAPERBACK
With a Reader's Guide focusing on:
1. Love Remembered: gleans crucial quotes from the chapter and invites you to reexamine them by answering some probing questions.
2. Love Deepened: uses parallel Scriptures to reinforce and clarify the thrust of the chapter.
3. Love Given: application questions to help you integrate the main focus of each chapter into your life of faith.

so... this is 'life' huh

Some say the most pitiful people are the ones whom are poor, whom are struggling to feed themselves or cloth themselves. I say the most pitiful people are not the ones who are struggling to survive physically, but facing spiritual death.

When joy, hope, love, peace are gone, when what’s being left is hurting oneself and others around whether on purpose or not, hell on earth is not too far away. When one is not longer able to believe, when faith is dying away, when the darkness of reality is embedding oneself, he is facing spiritual death. Even more pitiful is when one accepted the ‘reality’ of life as the way it is, and forgetting that life can be much more beautiful than the way it is. The courage to hope and pureness of heart is flooded by the so called ‘reality’, and started to take in everything as it is, and foolishly ‘enjoy’ the ‘life’ in the ‘world’ that is presented in front of him.

He is to be known as ‘naïve’, ‘stupid’, ‘unrealistic’ when he believes in a world of perfect harmony and peace. He is ‘mad’ and ‘wasting his life’ when he is ‘dreaming’ and ‘investing’ in that world while he could spend his time doing something ‘meaningful’ such as ‘work hard’, ‘earn more money’, and ‘looking for better opportunities’.

‘Life’ is good when you find a beautiful wife whom her ‘beauty’ is being envied. ‘Life’ is good when you have unlimited source of money to ‘do charity’ and ‘help the needy’. ‘Life’ is good when you do not have to worry when you travel around the world and gain more ‘life experiences’ than more people do. ‘Life’ is good when you know how to ‘appreciate’ wine and espresso coffees and choosing the way of your steak is to be cooked. ‘Life’ is good when you help a lot of people and make them feeling appreciative of what you’ve done for them.

Otherwise,

You can pray 5 times a day regardless how efficient your work is, whether your report is being done or you have cared of someone who is in need. You just need to ‘pray’ so that your ‘god’ can make a difference to this country. Doesn’t matter what is the way you spend taxpayers’ money as long as you build a huge worship places, ‘god’ can bless the country and bring peace and harmony. You teach people to hate each other and discourage people to think and make their own stand. You ask people to reject what threatens your status and accept your ‘laws’ without questioning. As long as you ‘do the right thing’ doesn’t matter if you have loved someone today. As long as you followed the ‘rules’ doesn’t matter if you are going to destroy a nation one day. Who set the rules? Who make the laws? You announce whatever brings benefits to yourself, and cover up whatever threatens the loyalty from your people. There is one word, called hypocrite, and you are fooling yourself.

Evil one, what kind of tricks are you playing now? Yes I have tasted your power and control in this world, and you brought me down from a higher state of faith. You made me sin and harness hatred in my heart and weaken my memory. You reminded me of the ugliness of life and the world, and made me forget what brought me love, joy and peace. But this is not the end yet, our battle is still continuing until you declare that you are lost.

The mountain

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Longing

Lord I feel forsaken

Even though I know you won’t

I am contradicting myself as always

And I am weary of being like this

I am losing hope in life

Once I am looking forward to so many things

But now those dreams and ambitions seem vanishing

I am putting my hope in something I could not see

Something that I do not know

Until I slowly forget what I am believing

And believe, only for the sake of believing

Am not I pathetic?

Find it impossible to quiet down my soul

To listen that tiny whisper from you

I am too anxious until I forgot what I am anxious for

I have too much fear until I forgot what I am fear of

Reality of life is harsh

It can make the courageous coward

It can make the ambitious ordinary

It can make the passionate cold

You humbled me

By taking away my last pride

Of believing in myself that I will never leave you

Now I know it is not up to me

If it is not your grace

I have forsaken you since long time ago

Take my faith as tiny as a mustard seed

Reshape me again from a cluster of clay

Make me whole, make me pure

And make my life worth living again

Down again

Fear is overwhelming me,

Have I made the right choice?

What is right? What is wrong?

What is pleasing God? What is not pleasing Him?

How long will I be grilled and restless?

How long can I maintain my faith?

I have faith in God, but have no faith in myself.

I am afraid.

I thought I made a choice, and a right choice

I thought I can rest after that

But no

Still I am restless, without peace

What can be more horrible than human beings?

I am scared

Of other human beings

Scared of their selfishness, politics

Scared that I will be bullied

Above all, I am afraid of regret

Of making the wrong choice

Of wearying myself down

Of bringing extra troubles and miseries in life

I thought I can have a normal job

Go to church on Sundays

Spending time with family on public holidays

And I realised, no

Not with the choice I’ve made

I will sacrifice my weekends and holidays

Sacrifice my church day

Sacrifice time spending with my family

No… why I am being brought to test like this again and again?

Why do I always not know how to make the right choice?

Why is it always me myself to be blamed?

Why am I putting myself in a misery?

I hate of being regret… I don’t want to regret

But this is what always happened to me

Maybe it is not as bad as I thought…

Maybe…

Yea I'm gonna watch movie-e!

After reading this blogpost I am more and more excited and looking forward to watch Wall-E with my high school mate in KL tomorrow!

Test Revival with Doctrine

Commentary by John Piper on Lee Grady's 'Lament and Critique of the Lakeland 'Revival'".

Rejoice, for you are the chosen one!

I always ask myself a question: what is my source of joy? When I am happy, what and who am I happy for? When I am upset, what and who upsets me and steal my joy? There is nothing wrong with feeling happy or upset about something or someone, but if that emotion is too strong and overtakes my desire for God, I have committed the sin of unbelief, or even idolatry. Well, this is just my opinion.

For example, I am not too happy at the moment, because I gave up my chance to travel around the world as a cabin crew. Seeing my dreams fleeting or delaying to whenever that is, I am disappointed. Therefore I ask myself: is travelling giving you more fulfilment than being obedient to God? Will God not able to fulfil all your longings and desires whether in this temporal life or most importantly eternal life? Why are you seeking ways to edify your earthly desires, for temporal fulfilment?

If only you can grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge… remain in Christ’s love, so that Christ’s joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Why are you looking for friends somewhere else, Christ has called you his friend, even lay down his life for you. He is alive, you know it, but do you believe it? If you believe it, how to you respond to the fact that Christ is alive and he is with you?

It is ok that you do not have a life being envious by the world. It is ok that you are being ordinary from the world’s point of view. It is ok that you are being unpopular. It is ok that you cannot please everyone. Why? Because you don’t have to, you belong to Christ alone. You are being accepted and you are unique in his eyes because he has created you according to his own image, and gives grace for you to repent and to believe in him, he chose you. Your value is neither determined by how the world evaluates you, nor by how people regard you, nor how much money you have, nor your status, nor how much knowledge you have, nor who you befriend with, nor how good-looking you are, nor your fashion sense, nor how many countries you travelled… Your value is in Christ, for who you are in Christ. Christ has chosen you, not because of who you are or what you did, but because of his mercy and grace. Isn’t that gives you enough reason to rejoice?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died- more than that, who was raised to life – is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - my favourite passage: Romans 8

Yes, you are Christ’s, stop doubting. You cannot even separate yourself from Christ’s love by doubting him. So rejoice! Rejoice! REJOICE! Worship him! Free yourself from all the worries, rejoice! Cast your burdens unto Jesus, rejoice! Put your hope in Jesus, rejoice! Be excited for what he is going to accomplish, rejoice! For his Kingdom come, rejoice!

Abba Father, what a privillege to be known as your sons and daughters!

Lilis and I shared something quite sweet last night I thought is a great encouragement for both of us so I think I just share it on my blog.

We reminded each other that God is our Father, He is watching us, and smiling, He delights in us, He sees us grow, and sees us stumble when we learn to walk, He loves us, no longer angry with us, because of Christ. Because of Christ - what a sweet phase…

“My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline

and do not resent his rebuke,

because the LORD disciplines those he loves,

as a father the son he delights in.” – Proverbs 3:11~12

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines those he loves,

and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.”

– Hebrews 12:5~6

“It is kind of beautiful when Hebrews 12:4 and Proverbs 3, OT and NT agree with each other.

I just learnt again about father and son. He disciplines those are his sons for our good so we may share his holiness. and I’m glad the scripture is so honest about discipline, it said it will seem painful rather than pleasant to be revoked. but it YIELDS the peaceful fruit of righteousness. we will later have peace after the purification.

If we dont get discipline, we are illegitimate children. So it says that u and me are true child of God. and He said to look at Jesus example, Jesus looked forward to the joy that was set before him (the reward) to endure the cross. Looking on the reward is so biblical.” – Lilis

Other than that, because we have this intimate relationship with God the Father, we can cry out to Him in our troubles, we can ask Him questions, but in a humble way, like David, like Job. Because they have been walking closely with God, He is no longer a stranger for them, but someone they can cry out or pour out too. To cry out or to question can be a form of worship too, when we acknowledge God's sovereignty and putting Him in the right position in our lives.

Lastly, we reminded each other of the hope we have in the future which is described in 1 Corinthians 15: about the gospel, the resurrection of Christ, and how we are going change, and death no longer has victory over us… Therefore, we must stand firm, and let nothing move us. Always give ourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because we know that our labour in the Lord is not in vain.

God is watching... and smiling! =)

I wish I can record everything that God has done faithfully in my life. Someone told me that, there is not an experience in life that is going to be wasted; all can be used by God to teach, encourage, and build me up for His further purpose in my life. Mum said that my unemployment is like a holiday, with the visits and companies of many friends, I am enjoying myself in the midst of uncertainties. I found something to boast of: Christ who lives in me has never leaved me nor forsake me, his power and grace is present, he is alive and real.

Throughout the second half of last year until now I have been facing immense challenges. I have learnt, and grown, in wisdom of life and the love of Christ. Biggest lesson God trying to teach me is, live simple, live for Christ alone. Am I able to let go of the love and desires for the world, am I able to show Christ’s glory at the cost of my ambitions and worldly desires?

He has put me into a difficult situation. He knows I love travelling, and see the world, and somehow being glamorous, being envied by others. What is a better job than being a flight stewardess? Everything seems so perfect, the pay, the travel, the glamour, the cool aviation crew friends, and the chance to get to know people from all around the world… but there are certain things I need to ‘sacrifice’ if I take on this job. I will spend less time with the church and friends, I might being tied up and could not attend a good preaching, I might feel tired travelling and compromise my time spending with God, especially flying long hours in the plane, will I do my quiet time and bible study while I fly? Besides, I might face a lot of temptations and making compromises.

I do not know if I have made the right choice, choosing to work on the ground, working 5 days a week in a hospital, sounds boring huh… I don’t know… somehow I think this is better for me to grow, learn and serve God. I know the student ministry needs staffworker, I know the children ministry in church needs tuition teachers… I know in the hospital the patients need to hear the gospel… maybe the reality is not as fancy as I would imagine or describe, but somehow I know this is a better opportunity to serve and witness God. (Well, actually I made the decision because I cannot really wait and take risk anymore; the hospital needs an answer so I just say yes).

Ya so I made the decision and still trying to persuade myself that I made the right choice… I know this is a stressful job and I will face a lot of challenges in every way, but that makes me rely on God more than relying on myself. And I need to explain this to the airline, the friends who helped me to get into the aviation industry, and the cabin crew friends whom I just knew… Don’t know what is going to happen next so just commit everything in God’s hands.

Christ vs. Moralism

This article compares the true gospel with moralism, perfectionism, and legalism which are quite common in most churches today. Just wanna share this link with you all.

Christ vs. Moralism by John W. Hendryx

Restless Anne

I am grilled more and more day after day, I hope I would not get burnt. 2, 3, or even 4 jobs on hold and cannot do anything but wait, this is worse than anything. So what? Why wait? Why doesn’t God just give me a reply straight away? The longer I wait, the more likely I am going to lose all the possibilities and offend those who offered me jobs.

The biggest lesson God has taught me this year is WAITING, wait in patience, wait in hope, and wait for deliverance. If the situation is within my control, I wished I can just do something about it and get it done or get over it. But waiting is humbling me and reminding me that I am not in control, but God is. It takes a lot of faith and courage to believe that God is in control, He is wise and He loves me.

Yet, I am not going to have another good night sleep if the situation is not being solved. I am stuck, literally stuck that there is nothing I can do about the situation. I do not know how long it is going to take before they let me know whether I am taken or not, I do not know how long it will be before another position offered is being taken by another person. There is a big chance either I am getting both job offers, or losing both.

Again, it humbles me. God is God, and I am not. As a servant who submitted my will to my Lord, I can only wait in patience and obey whatever is coming. Perhaps, it is my duty to worship and rejoice even in the midst of restlessness and anxiety. I believe this is a God-given challenge for me to learn and overcome.

Who am I to question God?

I read this same passage/verse twice a day from different books, and it amazed me how Job had reacted to adversities which had happened in his life. After Satan afflicted Job by killing his family and properties, Job did not complain or doubt God's goodness, instead he fell to the ground and worship, and said,

"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

The bible also says, in everything which had happened to Job, he did not sin by charge God with wrongdoing.

So how should I response to this passage? Or what should I learn from Job? Indeed, everything that I have in life is given to me by God's grace, they are all belong to the Lord's, and He has the right to give, and the right to take away. He has the right to bless, and He has the right to bring disaster or afflictions. Nevertheless, he deserved to be praised, worshiped and glorified, for He is the God who created all things, He is perfect and Holy, He is sovereign and supreme, He sent His son Jesus to show us His invisible being. Even only for the fact that He is my God, my Lord, my master, he deserves my worship to the full without questioning.

"Lord, I praise you for who you are, you are holy and without blemish. You have great wisdom, and your thoughts are beyond my thoughts, and your ways are higher than my ways. Who am I to question you? Who am I to complain or doubt your sovereignty? I am just a sinner, a sinner who does not have the right to defend anything because I have sinned against you. I can only plead for your mercy and grace. Have mercy on this helpless little child, who is helpless against the evil realm, against the temptations of the world, against the deceptions and lies of princes of the world. Nevertheless, you are in control above all, I put my hope in the promise of eternal life in the Kingdom which is to come. I have the reason to rejoice in the midst of sufferings and struggles, and everything seems so insignificant in compared to the hope of seeing you face to face, not through visualisation of the description of you in the bible, not through other people's words, but I will see you, with my own eyes, and declare you are God, and I will give all the glory to you, until forever and ever. From that day onwards, there is nothing could stop me from knowing you, and rejoicing in you, nothing could stop me from praising and worshiping you. I will wait for that day, in patience and perseverance, I will be a good witness, to draw more people to you. You are my greatest desire, Lord, nothing else can compare to your greatness, not money, not relationships, not glamour, not fame, not wisdom, not knowledge, not family, not anything in this world can compare to your surpassing greatness and glory. May all worship and glory be unto your holy name. Amen"

Thank God the world needs me!

After the dark period of life suddenly I feel there are so many changes and my life is at the turning point. Rejections after rejections of many job applications and relationship were very discouraging. However acceptance after acceptance of possibilities can be exciting but stressful as well. My job application and interview has never actually failed in my job search in Singapore. Firstly I got a conditioned job offer by a nutrition consultant company but due to complications with employment pass application until now I am still waiting for the response from the Ministry of Manpower after 2 months. Due to my losing hope of getting my EP and seeking for another path I went for walk-in-interview for cabin crew position at a local airline. I was happy and grateful for God as I passed all 4 rounds for interviews and being selected as potential air crew out of hundreds of interviewees. I went to the pre-employment briefing but still need approval from my medical check up report and EP application. I was a bit shaken when I was called in yesterday for taking another X-ray to confirm my mild scoliosis (curve at the backbone). Then I was not sure if I should put too much hope in getting the job as most of the girls are getting ready for their training on 7^th August.

Oh before that I met up with a staff worker of FES (Fellowship of Evangelical Students) here and heard about their need of a staff worker for the uni side. Then I was considering about that position and prayed about it. However since I got 'accepted' by the airline I did not follow up until further update.

In addition, to make things more complicated, I received an email today for a 2^nd interview with a hospital for Food and Beverage Executive position. The 1^st interview was at the beginning of last month and I thought there’s no hope so I almost forget about this job application. But I am going for another interview tomorrow morning! Hey what is going on? How am I going to solve the problem of lodging 3 EP applications at the same time? How do I make the final decision according to the Lord’s mighty will? This is funny but stressful hahaha…. Guess I can just pray and make a way through in choosing the best path… May God give me wisdom and get through this situation as soon as possible… In Jesus Precious Name I pray, Amen.