How to share Jesus

Re-reading this



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Overdraft

Lord, you are all I need.

With the excessive cortisol destroying my body,
Your healing and comfort is all I need.

With the guilt of sins weighing down me,
Your forgiveness is all I need.

With the seemingly impossible challenges facing ahead,
Your wisdom is all I need.

With the insecurities of uncertain future,
Your sovereignty is all I need.

With the needs and desires in heart,
Your providence is all I need.

With the temptations facing day-to-day,
Your grace is all I need.

With the discouragements and frustrations face each day,
Your joy is all I need.

Lord, your love, evidenced by the cross, is all I need.


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Seoul - Day 1

Couldn't believe that I was on my way to Seoul, Korea. Had been waiting for that moment for at least 8 months and wanted to get away from the stagnant life in Malaysia, it was a little miracle for me to be there. The flight was impressive, even it was a budget airline, at least it met all my expectations, there was nothing to complain about, other than a weird Indonesian guy sitting next to me... Anyway, the flight landed in Seoul after almost 7 hours, and I was so excited and impressed by the wonderfully built Incheon airport. Everything was smooth from leaving the aircraft to getting through immigration, I got a my luggage and my Seoul adventure begins.

First mission of the day: to buy a T-money card and hop on the right train to Seoul downtown. There were many other solo travelers like me and were confused on buying the train ticket, but in my heart I was glad that fortunately I did some homework beforehand, I went to the convenience store and bought a T-money card. Usage of Korean language failed, but English was not a problem. It was my first real(?) contact with Korean, with the cashier.

After checking with the information counter on how to get to the airport rail (AREX), I walked towards the train station according to a mix of her information and my instinct. First excitement: the AREX train station is exactly the place where Runningman (my favourite Korean game show) was filmed! I was standing at the place (where the escalator and lift were) where the Runningmen were chasing each other. XD Because I was carrying my baggage and some many things, I couldn't be bother to take out my camera and capture the site, but I was a bit worried on whether I will catch the right train on time and reach my destination.

The train arrived and there were not many people in the carriage. I sat down with my suitcase lying in front of me. After making sure that I was in the right train, and counting on how many stops before I need to leave and transit to another train, I secretly observed the Koreans around me. I was just sitting there, and pretending that I was part of them. Most of them were businessmen wearing suits or family. That's the joy of taking subways and trains, it made me feel included like I was one of them...

I got down at the Hongdae station because I need to change to subway line 2 to Chungjeongno. The moment I stepped out from the train I felt the cold. In the train was much warmer than I thought and because I wore so many layers I felt stuffy but outside I could feel the cold immediately. The unexpected cold made me stopped and put on more layers, before I followed the crowd to walk towards the platform for subway line 2. The demography for subway was very different than the airport train. I felt awkward with my suitcase because most of the people in the subway were youngsters and students with their trendiest outlooks. Subway line 2 passes through Hongik University, Sinchon and Ewha University where most youngsters and students are populated. The train was much more crowded than the airport train, and the lesser usage of English made me realised that I was at a completely strange place.

I got out from the train, got confused with the exit (as I came out from the wrong exit due to the elevator), almost got lost but finally reached Bangrang Hostel. There were no one at the hostel, but only a note from the hostel manager. My phone was unable to roam, as I was panicking if I should call the manager at 11:30pm, I decided to use hostel phone to ring him up... The manager finally turned up and settled my payment and my room, everything was good. I liked the hostel, the interior set up and the numbered security lock. I met Kayo, a Japanese girl, my first roommate, first friend I met in Seoul. We chatted for a long time and we got really excited to know each other. We decided to meet up for dinner the day after.

First impression of Seoul was great, all the people that I encountered seem nice and friendly, I was looking forward to journey in Seoul...

Seoul - My Full Itinerary

I did a lot of 'homework' before embarking on this 5 days trip. Managed to meet some Taiwanese friends from the travel forum, I tried not to travel on my own throughout the trip, but make new friends~ But I did all the shopping on my own, to save time. :)

Planned itinerary:

Day 1

Incheon airport - Bangrang hostel

Day 2

Namdaemun - Myeongdong - Namsamgol Hanok Village - N Seoul Tower

Day 3

Deoksugong - Hongdae - Sinchon - Idae - Dongdaemun - Jimjilbang

Day 4

Sinsadong - Express Bus Terminal Station (underground shopping) - Yeouido (Cherry blossoms) - Hangang river cruise - Yongsan Emart

Day 5

Samgyetang - Gyeongbokgong - Samcheongdong - Bukchon - Insadong - Incheon airport

Actual itinerary

Day 2 ~ (mostly resting and very relaxing)

Namdaemun - Myeongdong - Sinchon - Jonggak (dinner) - Jonggak underground shopping

Day 3

Namsagol Hanok Village - N Seoul Tower - Hongdae - Idae - Dongdaemun

Day 4

Gwanghuamun - Toksochon samgyetang - Gyeongbokgung - Samcheongdong - Insadong - Banpo bridge - Express bus terminal - Dragon Hill Spa

Day 5

Jonggak - Myeongdong - Sinsadong - Insadong - Myeongdong - Incheon airport

What a change...

Seoul - 1

Okay finally I'm ready to start my blogs on Seoul...

Seoul, a dream place for many girls, was beyond my expectation. I guess it is not just about the place itself, or the tourist sites, or the shopping... but, the people, the culture that impress me much.

Thoughts on Seoul #1 - Infrastructure & Technology

Seoul is a metropolitan city, with well-integrated transport network, and sophisticated technologies. WiFi was covered in most places, with free access but speed connection, otherwise if you are subscribed to a local network, wireless internet is covered in almost all subway trains. Not only that, Seoul is very tourist friendly too, at some subway stations I can see the giant iPhone-like touch screen that allows you to find direction, places information... Oh and when I make a credit card payment at the store, I did not have to sign on a paper/receipt, instead I signed on the credit card machine (hmm... it's something unavailable in Malaysia, yet).

Incheon airport - Departure Gate

Thoughts on Seoul #2 - Character

Seoul is a city full of character. Unlike what I heard about the negative comments about Seoul before - boring, characterless etc. It was completely opposite from what I expected. I cannot pinpoint on the most prominent character of Seoul, but when I think of Seoul, things that came in my mind including: Cafes with unique characters, contemporary and traditional arts, modern and traditional buildings, delicious street and also restaurant foods, popstar culture, and variety of goods made in Korea! There are places filled with scent of youth and life such as Hongdae, Idae and Sinchon. Whereas Myeongdong is an area that impresses you with the latest cosmetic and fashion trends. Insadong and Bukchon Hanoks offers you a taste of traditional Korean lifestyle and culture, but Samcheongdong and Sinsadong are places that surprises you in every corner.

Somewhere between Samcheongdong and Bukchon Hanoks

Thoughts on Seoul #3 - Language & Culture

Hangul is an interesting language. From the language, we can tell about the culture. Unlike English, the use of Korean language largely contextual and situational. The way a person speaks to another person reveals their relationship, age difference and social ranking. People do pay a lot of respect to the country or company leaders, elderly or those with great achievements. However, the way people are addressed also come with individual responsibilities. For instance, if you are a 형(hyung, older brother for a guy), 오빠(oppa, older brother for a girl), 언니(eonni, older sister for a girl) or 누나(nuna, older sister for a guy) you should look after / protect the younger ones. I would say, Koreans are relationship oriented and it is a good thing, because in this way, everyone knows their position in a family, circle of friends, group and society quite well, therefore they know how to get along (相處) with each other well. I won't say it's discrimination or inequality, it's just that basically everyone is different therefore we need different ways to interact with different people. The way guys treat girls should be different than how guys treat guys. The way young people interact with young people should be different than how they treat older people. This is completely opposite to New Zealand, where everyone calls everyone (including parents and professors by their first name).

Bosingak - Jonggak

Thoughts on Seoul #4 - People

My most favourite part about Korea. My initial impression of Korea was not the best one... (sorry Korean friends I misunderstood you...) I thought people there have fake looks (plastic surgery and cosmetics), rigid and competitive, maybe it's true to a certain extend, but... as compared to Singaporeans, I find them more genuine and authentic when it comes to making friends with others. They are shy perhaps due to language barrier, but I found them actually very enthusiastic and interested about people from another culture. :) I like it when the Ajushi's and Ajuma's kept talking to you even they knew you can't understand on anything they were saying about. The hostel staff, restaurant owners, sellers, taxi drivers, policeman, airport staff... were so helpful and made sure that our problems are resolved before leaving us alone... They are so genuine, sincere and helpful... I really appreciate their help, that made our lives much easier... It's the people that matters...

David, Athena, Kitty, 핼이, 핼지, Wendy, Me

Thoughts on Seoul #5 - Foods & Drinks

Love it! Tteokbokki (I don't know how to spell), Samgyetang (Ginseng Chicken Soup - so nourishing!), Kimchi (ahh~ can't live without it!), BBQ, green tea cinnamon pastry.... oooohhhh... mashita (delicious!)! Indescribable... (next time must try seolnongtang / beef bone soup)

Drinks: raspberry tea, black soy milk, aloe vera juice, ginseng wine, Cass beer, banana milk... yum yum (didn't get to try makgeolli T_T)

I don't know what is this called...

Recent life

I have not been blogging for a while, I doubt if I can still write a good article with proper English. The reason I'm here of course is that I have something to share. Life has been journeying as per norm, yet there are times that we can spice it up a little bit, like travel.

I'm pleased for being able to tick off the list of things I wanted to do since last year. Last year in October, I went to Taiwan, and visited my uncle, who passed away, as well as my grandparents. I had a better sense of closeness to my roots in Taiwan than ever before, and I am planning to go back again by the end of this year.

The second destination that I decided to travel on, was Seoul, South Korea. Managed to grab a flight ticket with an extraordinary price in August last year, I traveled there at the end of March. With a little disappointment, I was not able to see the cherry blossoms, because I booked the tickets a week earlier... However, the good thing is, it was still sort of considered as the end low season, before the crowd of tourists and visitors flood into Seoul, and that's why I get to experience a bit of Seoul people's real life.

Just like New Zealand, I'd never dreamed about the possibility of being able to reach there. It is a miracle, a gift of grace from God above. South Korea is a beautiful country, with their very own unique culture and way of life. 5 days in Seoul made me felt like a local, I took the subway just like the locals, with the locals, I ate like a local, I went to shop at the places where locals only go. Although it was too short to get to know them deeper, it was an eye-opening experience for me to appreciate the beauty of Korea.

My song of choice this new year

Prayer

It is new year. Description my feelings now? Heavy. Received a call from my parents in Taiwan last night, found out my grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer and tumour in the neck, and if the tumour is cancerous, it means that he is already at the end stage. Grandma told my mum that she felt a lump at the breast, and it's painful, but haven't been to check up yet, so we don't know what that is. Cloud of gloom surrounds the whole family, as mum just lost her brother recently, not yet recovering from the pain of loss, there are more challenging issues surfaced.

What should be our attitude like, when we face such almost unbearable suffering? Shouldn't we start thinking why there is suffering, what is the purpose of our lives, and what will happen when we die? The Gospel is really fundamental to Christian attitude and thinking, as it explains everything, gives meaning and gives hope to life. The gospel should DEFINE our lives. 'When we are still sinners, Christ died for us.' That's a short but astonishing statement, revealing the abundance of God's love and grace on hopeless humankind. It is comforting to know that though we are hopeless in sin, whether big or small, Christ has overcome with his infinite power on the Cross. He is the figure that we should look up to, and longing deeply for. We wait patiently for his return, for his fulfillment in future promises.

The dilemma is, what about those who never heard about the gospel? Were they given a choice? I can only say that God is sovereign of all, he has chosen the ones that he chose to love and accept, according to his mercy. Will our prayers and effort make a difference? It might not. But our attitude and action will show where our heart and treasure is. Therefore I pray, pray that the Lord shall have mercy on my grandparents and the family, firstly for salvation, because without salvation everything is meaningless and left them only with pain and hopelessness.

With my limited knowledge and imagination, I couldn't think of how the gospel can reach their ears and hearts and make them understand, but I believe God is the God of miracles, He'll have his own way in doing things, if He wills. Secondly, I pray that God will heal them, physically and emotionally. Not because of greed in having them and enjoyment in life, but because I love them. No one likes to see someone they love in pain. Thirdly, I pray that things will fall into the right place, whoever we are, we must know, learn and worship God, and follow God each day in our lives. We suppose to do what we suppose to do, which God intended us to do, because God is good, all the time. And we know that in all things God works for the good to those who love him, who have been called to his purpose. In Christ Holy name, Amen.

My Christmas

Haven't been blogging for sometime, I'm afraid that my English writing is worse than ever before... It's Christmas season... well... nothing really big for me, except a very confused, complicated feeling.

What has been happening in my life recently? I went to my favourite singer's - Jam Hsiao's concert last Saturday. A good friend of mine invited me for her wedding reception, but I refused because of the concert. Then mum told me I should wait at home, for uncle was in a very critical stage. Anyhow in the end I went. I really enjoyed the concert so much, for his voice has a comforting effect... I wasn't 100% in it... was thinking about uncle and other things as well.... but I treasured and savoured every minute when I was there, to get my every cent worthwhile.

My uncle passed away on Monday, before dawn. I had a mixed feeling. Somehow I feel relieved, for uncle himself, for my mum, and everyone in the family. I have peace, for I choose to believe that Jesus received him to heaven, as I whispered to him several times, telling him to believe and look for Jesus, when he was in coma.

After my uncle passed away, my granddad found out even everyone was hiding the truth from him. His old injury in his back hurts him badly and he got admitted into the hospital. Mum and her family are very busy settling and travelling and attending to different people and places.

I wanted to enjoy the Christmas, but I feel guilty, so I decided to stay home and do nothing, except on the Christmas eve, I went to church. Christmas carols always warm up my heart, I thank God earnestly for this ultimate gift of hope, that death has lost it's foothold, that one day in Jesus, we will be resurrected in glory, reunite with God eternally. The precious eternal hope, came in the form of the child in the manger... how I wished that everyone can just believe and accept it, because it's the only way that "works" and "make sense" for a bright future, overcoming sins and death.

Lonely. Deep down in my young heart wishes that myself can be at somewhere else, together with someone else, whether the place or people that I know or don't know yet. I want to explore, experience and enjoy the world, but under submission to Lord Jesus.

My 2010, I'm happy with it. I didn't expect too much since the past 2 years for me was quite rough. I thank God for His leading and guidance in my life through work, friends, colleagues, family and church. I must set a higher target for myself next year... may the Lord continue to lead.

Hope this phase will be over soon. 2011 is coming, hopefully it will be a more fruitful year for me. I just hope that everyone in the family will be ok, so that I can proceed to live out my life the max, for youth is going to be over soon... want to be as crazy as I can, to live out every possibilities... with the permission of the Lord above...

Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment. Ecclesiastes 11:9

Helplessness

my uncle is dying... he's losing his body temperature, blood pressure and heart beat. I need to go back to Malaysia tmrw afternoon and will never see him again. am extremely sad and helpless right now.

Shadow of Death

I don't know how to describe my feelings now... seeing loved one dying day by day is more heart-piercing than anything. he could pass away anytime, sometimes he seems ok, sometimes got to be well prepared, our mood is like roller-coaster... basically, there's no hope that he will recover or wake up anyway... it's just how soon he will be leaving us... please pray for my mum's family. need God desperately. Thank you.

Church day

found a church in kl through facebook. never know there's a beautiful church building right beside the merdeka square, in the centre of the city. there are many services going on at the same time such as traditional service and iban service before the contemporary service. i love the beautiful architecture, as well as i can see the whole sultan abdul samad building right opposite. the people I've met, the sermon they preach, and the books they lend totally meet my needs. best thing is they offer great books for lending like C.S. Lewis, DA Carson, John Piper, John Bunyan, Jerry Bridges, J.I. Packer, John Stott... you know you're at the right place when you see these books... oh forgot to mention the books that i've read like Shining like stars, out of the salt shaker, Desiring God... I feel at home, for real. many people attend different services but the contemporary service that i attend is quite small, for around 20-30 people, which is a great size because you can't escape without being known to others.

St. Mary Anglican Church

A great song they sang this morning:

Never Alone

1. We’re not alone, for Christ is here
Immanuel our God come near
We’re not alone, for to our world
Jesus has come, eternal Word.
And as he speaks, our souls laid bare
Naked, ashamed, sin is made clear
And yet he clothes us in his love
Never alone, Christ is with us, is with us.

2. The longest walk, earth’s darkest day
The pressing crowd, his mounting pain.
A heavy load of grief and shame
Breathless that we should breathe again.
“Father forgive them,” comes his cry
Silence from God blackens the sky.
A creeping dread in every heart
Lost in the world now God departs, God departs.

3. The dawn will come, the sun will rise
Out of the grave we’ll see hope’s light.
Tomb opened wide, stone rolled away
Morning has come, a brand new day.
“He isn’t here,” the angel said.
“He is alive no longer dead.”
Our hearts are lifted, souls raised high
Christ is with us, Christ is our life, he’s our life.

4. Never alone, is now our cry
In joy, in grief, in lonely sin.
Never alone, for Christ is ours
He lives in us, we live in him.
And ’til we reach that final day
When fears are gone, cast far away
We'll live secure, trust in his love,
Never alone, Christ is with us, he’s with us.

Lyrics: © 2006 Simone Richardson
Music: © 2006 Philip Percival

What a Friend We Have in Jesus | Joseph M. Scriven

1. What a friend we have in Jesus,
   All our sins and griefs to bear!
   What a privilege to carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
   Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
   Oh, what needless pain we bear,
   All because we do not carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
2. Have we trials and temptations?
   Is there trouble anywhere?
   We should never be discouraged—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Can we find a friend so faithful,
   Who will all our sorrows share?
   Jesus knows our every weakness;
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
3. Are we weak and heavy-laden,
   Cumbered with a load of care?
   Precious Savior, still our refuge—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
   Take it to the Lord in prayer!
   In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
   Thou wilt find a solace there.
4. Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
   Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
   May we ever, Lord, be bringing
   All to Thee in earnest prayer.
   Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
   There will be no need for prayer—
   Rapture, praise, and endless worship
   Will be our sweet portion there.

Prayer Request

Dad just informed me that doctor declared my uncle brain dead... unless miracle happens perhaps he will never wake up again... my grandparents, uncle, aunt and my parents are struggling with this fact... I don't know what to say but I can feel their pain as if my own pain. Yet I know I must be strong, because my parents need me, to support them physically, mentally, spiritually and financially. Can't do anything for ones that you love, is actually that painful... God have mercy on us, we deserve all suffering because we have turned away from you, but please, I beg You for your grace and mercy that is found in Jesus, forgive us and heal our pain. Please bring my family into eternal salvation, we cannot live without You. You are the God who works miracles...

God controls

believing in God, at the same time knowing that you're having many many friends and loved ones do not believe in God is scary. especially the chances of losing them is higher...

please pray, for my uncle who is lying in the hospital after a major stroke. pray for my mum and her family who are worrying and stressing themselves. pray for my dad who is looking after them, after recovered from dengue fever only a few days ago.

pain of helplessness is overwhelming. the sense of guilt is heavy. only the slight hope in the grace of God in Christ sheds a little light that sustains me on.

if you can, believe in God, and tell people about God. it's the only purpose in our lives.

Father, comfort me and take away my fears, knowing that you're in full control, the God full of grace and mercy. Forgive my family, who lose heart on you, forgive my grandparents, who worship idols. You are the God who works miracles. I believe in you.

Helplessness

First time realising how useless worry is. Dad was admitted to the hospital yesterday for dengue fever. Was more relax earlier thinking that it will soon be over, but now looking at his tired face and weak body, I'm starting to feel the seriousness about it. Thoughts came across like how if daddy is not here anymore? It's a scary thought... Such fear arises and haunting my weak spirit. I love my dad very much, and I hope that he will live on and give me another chance to love him more.

I have been eating my words, that even I got my car I never been to church and serve God. I don't know how related it is to the suffering my family has been going through, but certainly the weight of guilt is pounding on me.

'what a friend we have in jesus...' this song was playing in my radio. Such surpassing comfort came through and a huge thought flashed in my mind - never take God's grace lightly, it was repaid with His own blood. There is no reason that God should heal my dad and help us, only by His grace and mercy. All I can do is to have faith in Christ and beg for His mercy.


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Struggles

Dearly Lord Father, may Your name be revered and praised at all times. Should I go to church tomorrow? Which church should I go to? Should I bring my parents along? Which domination? English or Chinese congregation?

Week by week I have been struggling with these questions. I feel immobilised.

Lord I love you, and I wish my family and friends find perfect joy in loving You too. I just don't know where and how to start. May You never give up on me. Even when I'm forgetful of Your goodness...

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Moments of confession

I'm desperate for a holiday. Not because I want to see something new, but rather to keep myself busy and avoid certain things in life. Maybe it's a sin to pretend to be busy, it is. How far can I runaway from my feelings and intentions? Am I hiding here or really up to something? I don't know. What is real and what is temporal? I'm confused. Somehow, part of me chose to stay in the past and refused to move on. Yet part of me eagerly marching forward to rewrite new stories in life. Perhaps there will be a point of time that I will be torn up by this tension. Or I will be so stretchable and find a balance in between (the past and the future).

Just like Cobb in the movie 'Inception' where part of him stuck in his dream and couldn't get over it. Perhaps part of me stuck in my memory. Perhaps I should go inside my memory, or dream, and say bye to the important person there, if I can ever make it happen. Because he is not real, he is just part of my memory.

I'm going to Seoul

A step closer to my dream again. Thank God for creating little miracles in my life, displaying his gracefulness, generosity, and wonderful love for me. I love Him and I need Him.


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Cats in the East Coast