Lost

I don’t know what scares me, maybe life in general. I feel like a boat floating in the middle of the ocean, losing it’s direction, have no where to go, no where for support. I tried to escape, to chase my nomadic dream, but I end up here again, facing the realities of life. I don’t know why I have so much fear towards a career. I’m afraid I will lose my freedom, I’m afraid being rejected, I’m afraid of failure, afraid of disappointment. I have no confidence in myself at all, I can’t remember anything I learnt from uni, I don’t have confidence to speak, I can’t speak fluent English, neither Malay or Mandarin. I don’t have money for further education, my results are too bad for scholarships. I don’t have any connection, not belong to any organisation or society. I’m a loner, belongs to no where. I don’t have friends here, feeling infamiliar about everything in Malaysia. What should I do? Where should I go? Here I am being lost again in life. God I pray you open a door for me, pray that you lead me to the place you want me to go, pray that you put the right people in my life. Help me to submit the burdens to you, help me to discern your voice, help me to obey you, help me to fulfil your purpose. I’m desperate for you.